It is a joy to kick off this series with this special gal whom I met almost 20 years ago as schoolmates. For as long as I have known her, she has forever been loving, upbeat, and a beacon of positivity. Today, we talk about the ways her life changed after becoming a Mom, humility and influence in apologizing, and the personal lessons God is teaching along the way. Amanda, thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your life in words.
How many children do you have? 2
How old are your children? 7 & 4
Are you a mom of girls, boys, or both? Rea (girl) and Sal (boy).
What are the most significant ways your life has changed since becoming a Mom? How has it remained the same?
Our kids challenge our ego like none other, so being free and independent was no longer something I could identify with when I had my firstborn. It took some serious leveling up. I had to work through the emotional turmoil of having to meet the needs of another human being. My children still challenge my ego and it’s because we create these images in our head about what kind of family I am going to raise and create, and it all blows up in your face most days.
With that, I am still the same fun, outgoing, loving person that I always was. I make time for myself. I fill my own cup with my passions and hobbies, and fuel my marriage– it’s just ever-evolving as now I just have to be very aware of my calendar and when I am not keeping the commitments I made to myself, or to my children and spouse.
When was a time that you had to apologize to your children?
This is a great question because we often like to go to the line — do as I say not as I do… Unfortunately, that is not the case. Modeling the behavior we want to see in our children and creating boundaries for the way we want to be treated is so important.
I have blown up on my kids when I was feeling shame or anger and those emotions should have never been directed at them, so I have said to my children on multiple occasions, “That was not about you, that was mommy and I am very sorry. I will do better next time.” Not only does it get me out of the continuation of the shame, but it brings me back to love and my kids can feel that. They see how I was able to shift. The most incredible gift is when they mess up or blow up, they easily come back to the light and offer a sincere apology.
What are the lessons God has taught you / is teaching you as a Mother?
I believe God is teaching me to lead with love, trust the journey, and see my children and others for who they truly are in their hearts.
We give so much negative meaning to our life circumstances or the way our children or others behave, and it doesn’t serve us. I ask God every day for the strength to show up from a place of love for my family; to allow me to lead with faith and not fear.
I anchor myself in the idea that if I am blessed to live a long life, the love and work I put in every day will allow me to not only feel all of the pain and joy that life will bring along the way, but it will bring my kids back to me when they start their own lives with their own children.
I am all the more grateful for the women (like Amanda) who have chosen to join me on this journey of transparency and support – ESPECIALLY in addition to the life adjustments and loads we are all experiencing in the midst of COVID-19! I can’t thank you enough.
Connection and support are vital to our growth and survival as humans and as Women. I have met many Mothers (myself included at one point) who are going through the trenches and carrying loads solo. This has often led to depression, loneliness, isolation, and such guilt and shame in “not measuring up”.
My prayer is that the women who lay eyes on “Our Life in Words”, will be encouraged, enlightened, and all the more hopeful.
For the Moms,
This series is for the Moms! In honor of Mothers, this May will be chock-full of real stories of Motherhood from Moms of all ages, in all stages. Join me as I feature different Moms (on a weekly basis) who will so graciously be sharing their life in words.
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