How many children do you have? Two
How old are your child(ren) OR how long have you been a mom? 15 and 14 years old
Are you a mom of girls, boys, or both? I am the mom of 2 boys
How has fierce faith driven you to intercede for, stand with, or fight against on behalf of you and or your family – in spite of what things looked like in the natural?
I am an “old” mom and fierce faith brought me to motherhood. I prayed for a husband and children for many years and stood in faith while waiting. I got married at 40 years old and had my first son at 41 after miscarrying my first pregnancy.
In the natural, many people had given up on me thinking that I would never get married and have a family of my own. But I continued to pray, stand in faith, and fight against doubt and unbelief.
God answered my prayer “exceedingly abundantly above all that I could have ever asked or imagined.”
What circumstances tend to pressurize us in motherhood?
Motherhood is one of the hardest jobs in the world.
It is a huge responsibility to take care of and raise another human. When our children are babies, they are so dependent on us. When they are inside of us their whole little life depends on us and not much changes after they are born.
I found it very challenging when my boys were newborns and infants, because I felt like I was always trying to figure out what they needed. Their inability to say what they needed or what was bothering them caused me frustration because it made me feel out of control. I wanted to meet their needs, but I didn’t know what those needs were.
The lack of sleep was a very big issue for me as well. Parenting from a place of exhaustion and fatigue is challenging.
As time goes on, not only do they need us to take care of their physical and emotional needs, but now they need us to teach them how to be functioning people in society. It is up to us moms to show them how to get along well with others and live properly within a community.
We have so many jobs as moms and wear many different hats. The challenge comes when we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect in all those areas. Perfectionism is the enemy of happiness and contentment. We imagine that if our house is perfectly clean and organized, we are perfectly “put together”, and our children behave and look perfect then we are succeeding as a mother. This is not true. Everything can look perfect on the outside (if that is even possible) and be a total mess on the inside with no one being happy and lots of discord, disharmony, and dissatisfaction.
It also comes when we compare ourselves and how we parent our own children to other mothers and how they parent. Sometimes we have this misconception that others are doing it better than we are because we look at their lives from the outside not seeing what goes on behind closed doors. I learned early on not to do the comparison thing. The Lord reminded me that just as He created me as an individual with my own identity and personality, He also created my children with their own. Our uniqueness as individuals creates a unique family with its own dynamics not to be compared to any other.
Finally, when our children misbehave or have their own struggles in life, we as moms tend to blame ourselves. We think that how they act is a reflection on us and our parenting when that isn’t necessarily the truth. “Mom guilt” and the desire to fix everything for our kids is a burden we will always carry if we don’t release them and ourselves to our Heavenly Father. Letting go is one of the most important ways we can become free from these circumstances that pressurize us as moms.
Speak life to the mom who is weary and burned out.
Mom, you’ve got this!
God has blessed you with your children and He specifically gave them to you because you are the perfect one for the job.
Our Heavenly Father is so awesome, too, because He equips us with what we need to do the “job” He has called us to do. God is your strength when you feel weak. He has given you His word for wisdom when you don’t know what to do.
Most importantly, you are NOT alone on this exciting journey of motherhood. The Holy Spirit is always with you! Pour out your heart to Him in prayer, not just in intercession for your family. Cry out and honestly express how you feel to your Heavenly Father.
When you release your pain, weariness, and disappointment, He will replace it with His peace, strength, hope, love, and joy and bring healing. God is the perfect Father who only gives good gifts, and all we have to do is put ourselves in a position to receive all He has for us.
Love yourself the way you love your children. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and know that you will make mistakes. You are human. Ask for forgiveness from your children because they are very quick to forgive, which is a great lesson for us to learn when it comes to forgiving others and ourselves. They move on and so should you. Their love for you is unconditional and God’s love is unconditional so who are you to not love yourself unconditionally?
Take a break occasionally, especially when you need to. Be sure to take time out of your busy life to do the things you enjoy doing. For me, that’s my Zumba class. It is good for me physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Do something that brings you joy and gives you rest from your job as a mother. This will benefit your family as much as it does you.
What is 1 nugget of advice you’d give to other moms?
I want to share with you a lesson that I learned early on with my boys.
When my oldest son, Sam, was about 5 years old, he became afraid of eating and refused to eat his meals. Of course, this was very concerning to us. How do you make a 5-year-old eat? You can’t force food down their throats.
This was the first time that I felt very out of control as a mom. I did not like it, and more importantly, didn’t know what to do.
I began to realize that my son was his own little person with a mind of his own, and I had no control over his actions.
It is one thing when they are being disobedient and you must discipline in order to teach a lesson, but when they are sincerely afraid and refuse to do something because of that fear, what do you do?
Here is the answer: PRAY, GIVE YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN TO THE LORD, AND LET GO! This is my number one nugget of advice.
Share about a time God helped you to release control
Okay, I can pray. I pray all the time for my kids and my family.
I can say that I give them all over to the Lord. BUT…Letting Go!! That’s a whole other story.
Letting Go means recognizing what we are holding on to. I was holding on dearly to my ability to control my children up until this point. I was holding onto my ability to fix all their little problems.
“Letting go” means analyzing the impact that “holding on” is having on you. Worrying about my son not eating, and maybe having an eating disorder, was making me anxious, terrified about his future, and weak. It was limiting me in my ability to mother both of my boys and do the other things I needed to do.
Letting Go is knowing that you will be okay when you do. This is real trust in the Lord and dependance on Him. We don’t just let go to the fates; we “let go and let God”, as they say. We trust Him enough with our precious babies to say, “Father, I am releasing my child, and his/her struggles to You to take care of and work out for their good and Your glory.”
Letting Go is not only knowing that you will be “okay” when you do, but you will be far better off when you do. You will be exchanging your fear for faith, and your worry for divine assurance that everything is going to be okay. We let go by praying and giving our children and the situation to our Heavenly Father, by reading His Word and finding the promise we can stand on, and then by resting in Him and trusting that everything is going to be okay.
I had to do those things. I had to LET GO! I had myself in such a state of worry and was letting my imagination run wild – playing out all these crazy scenarios. In wasn’t long after I made the decision to let it all go to the Lord that the situation began to change.
We found out that it was a survival show on tv that my husband and I were watching that was traumatizing Sam. They didn’t have much food on the show, and when they did find something to eat sometimes it would make them sick. Sam thought that when he ate, he would choke or throw up and that made him afraid.
It was my mom who finally got Sam to eat. She had Shredded Wheat and she showed him how it just melts and falls apart in the milk. He had Shredded Wheat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for about a week or so before he started to eat other things and forget about his fears.
Here I had to let go of thinking he needed a more balanced diet, but that wasn’t so hard because I was just so relieved that he was eating something. And, of course, Mark and I stopped watching that show.
No matter what stage you are at in raising your children, there is always a time or season where we must release them to the Lord and let Him take care of them and work their struggle out for them.
What it comes down to is that we are limited in fixing all of their problems, and it is just as important for them to learn that lesson in life as it is for us. Hallelujah! Our God is never limited. What seems impossible with man is always possible with God. (Matthew 19:26)
In my testimony, God used my mom. I could not help my child, but God sent someone who could. We don’t have to be the answer to all our kids’ problems. I encourage you today, Mom, ask Jesus our Savior and Helper, to help you to LET GO and allow Him to do the work in your child that only He can do.
Ask Him to make Himself real and personal to your child today. Let Him be the answer to all of their problems.
What legacy do you wish to create/leave for your children?
This is a great question because I often think of the legacy I will leave behind for my children.
Because of my age I know that they will probably be without me in their lives younger than I am now. I don’t mean to sound morbid, but as you get older you think more about what will happen after you have passed on. My parents are twenty years older than me, so I am blessed to still have them in my life at 56 years old. I am 40+ years older than my boys so I’m pretty sure I won’t be around when they are 56 years old.
The most important legacy I can leave behind for them is knowing Jesus as their Lord and Savior and knowing that the most important way they can live their lives is to live it for God. My #1 goal as a mom who loves Jesus is to raise children who will be world changers for the Lord. Especially in this day and age, where anything goes, and so many young people struggle not knowing who they are.
It is also important to me that I create and leave behind a legacy of kindness. Kindness is a character trait that is so much a part of who I am and strive to always be in my life. Kindness alone will set them apart these days. It is a legacy that has been left for me. My grandmother never said a bad word about anyone. She always found something positive to say. It blesses me that my oldest son is like that. If someone is critical of someone else, he defends that person and finds something positive to say. Also, my mom is one of the nicest people I know, and others who know her say the same thing. I want to follow in both of their footsteps, and I pray that I am leaving that legacy behind for my boys.
Another important legacy I want to leave behind is based on our family’s Bible verse, Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” My husband and I teach our boys that our family doesn’t quit, and we keep our word and commitment no matter what. We are both loyal and faithful people and we are raising our boys to be that way.
We have taught our boys to not let fear keep them from living their lives. They must do what they need to do in life, afraid sometimes. They will go on their driving test afraid, go on their first job interview nervous, go away to college afraid, propose to a woman terrified, get married afraid, have their first child afraid, buy their first home afraid, etc. Our lives are full of change and change can be scary but if we want to grow change is inevitable. We pray that our kids not let fear hold them back from the wonderful life that God has for them.
I am all the more grateful for the women (like Karen) who have chosen to join me on this journey of transparency. I can’t thank you enough.
For the Moms is an annual written blog series which aims to ignite and connect Godly Women in various stages of Motherhood toward the revelation of their Divinely given assignment and their impact as the gatekeepers of the home.
The purpose and mission is to elevate Christ and conceptualize Godly character in Motherhood – and to reach down and pull up those Mothers who are just starting, who are understandably worn, or who have somehow lost their way.
Further, For the Moms is a movement that is calling to attention the warriors within us for the times in which we live. We will aim to unravel the mistakes and cycles of generations past. We will wage war for our families. And, we will diligently seek the Lord’s face concerning His will for our children, and who we are becoming through our Motherhood.
My prayer is that the women who lay eyes on the For the Moms Series, will be encouraged, emboldened, and all the more hopeful. I sure am.
For the Moms,
Hannah
- Episode 30 – Marinating in the wait w/ Karen Mejeur
- For the Moms – Tides of Faith w/ Eliza Sarai Ray
- For the Moms – Tides of Faith w/ Karen Mejeur
- For the Moms – Tides of Faith w/ Lookha Succes
- For the moms – Tides of faith w/ Aimee Niblack
The Marked Life Blog 
Loved the Mum poem from youtube. God bless you.
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Hi there and thank you! Glad you came by. God bless you
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